Bittersweet: No More Denial
by Fyre79
Summary: Anna leaves Yoh for another man.  Now he writes a letter expressing all the pain he's been through and how he feels now.  Oneshot.  Songfic to Three Days Grace's Gone Forever.  Rated for Language.


First, I would like to say that I mean no offense to any fans of Anna. I myself am a fan. I thought about what Yoh would think of her now that she's betrayed him. I wondered if Yoh never became Shaman King and if Anna found somebody would could please her. She cheated on him with that man and eventually left him heartbroken. Now he sees things for the better: the positive side of the situation. But he has to let go of her. So in doing so, he writes this letter to her to get all his feelings out for her. He sends it so he can be free of her forever. He finally realized she's gone forever and so is he.

From the authors perspective, I wrote this to let out some anger towards certain people in my life. Some recent, some very old. But it's helped me clear my head of these emotions and let me start anew. Don't you just wish you could write something like this to someone.

The song I used is "Gone Forever" by Three Days Grace. It inspired me to write this.

Also, side-note, if you want to join a Message Board I created, go to my profile. It's in need of new members.

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Shaman King or the song "Gone Forever". They belong to their rightful owners and I do not claim it as my own.**

Please Enjoy.**  
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_Anna_

_I'd be damned if you'd bother reading this. You think this is me, writing this letter to you, begging you to come back to me. __A letter where all my heart-aching love for you is poured onto this single sheet of paper.__ Well, Miss Kyoyama, you're __**dead**__ wrong._

_**Don't know what's going on**_

_**Don't know what went wrong**_

_**Feels like a hundred years I**_

_**Still can't believe you're gone**_

_Why do you always have to be so demanding? Everything must be done your way and __**everyone**__ else has to suffer for you. You have to be so perfect. You want to be the one in control. So is that why you left me, Anna? Because I didn't become Shaman King, you went to another man with power? Are you that self-absorbed and power-hungry? I swear you're no worse than __Hao__ was._

_**So I'll stay up all night**_

_**With**__** these bloodshot eyes**_

_**While these walls surround me with the story of our life**_

_Now I get the relationship between you two. He's the all powerful son of some world-wide mega company who can satisfy all your needs. He can give you all that glorious power you crave, your own slaves doing your bidding, and letting you do nothing but gives orders and sit on your lazy little ass. Sure, you're the all powerful Itako, but have you ever spent a week of the HELL __you call training!? I swear you must be the spawn of Satan._

_**I feel so much better**_

_**Now that you're gone forever**_

_**I tell myself that I don't miss you at all**_

_**I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now**_

_**That you're gone forever**_

_That's all you ever do, Anna. You take advantage of people and use them until you get what you want. Then you throw them away like they're just a piece of worthless trash. You never care. You can't show compassion. Even when you try, you do it in such a cold-blooded way. It makes me think you're inhuman. Like a creature born to just rule over others. Anna, I'm sorry to say this, but you're a heartless soul._

_**Now things are coming clear**_

_**And**__** I don't need you here**_

_**And in this world around me**_

_**I'm glad you disappeared**_

_You can't love anyone but yourself, your personal possessions, and one thing you thrive off of: Misery. __You suck on it; you feed off of it; you need it to survive. It's the drug that keeps you breathing. __You make everyone in the world miserable with just one sinister glare. You're just a cruel bitch who brings everyone down._

_**So I'll stay out all night**_

_**Get drunk and fuck and fight**_

_**Until**__** the morning comes I'll**_

_**Forget about our life**_

_I still don't understand__ why the hell I was so worked up after you left me. Why was I so envious and heartbroken when you backstabbed me? You cheated on me behind my back for half a year. I was so in denial and sent myself into oblivion. When you left me I started to take up drinking. I was on the verge of becoming an alcoholic. It consumed my life. But then it dawned on me. What was the point? I was making myself miserable over the girl who caused me all my suffering. It was the most ridiculous thing I ever done._

_**I feel so much better**_

_**Now that you're gone forever**_

_**I tell myself that I don't miss you at all**_

_**I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now**_

_**That you're gone forever**_

_Did you even love me, Anna? Was this just some entire plot to tear me down? __Once we were engaged you decided to train me so hard I'd become a strong shaman. Hopefully strong enough to win the Shaman Tournament and become the Shaman King. That was you, the dominant Shaman Queen, would take over my reign and let me do you bidding. Well you failed at that plan, so you ran off and deceived another powerful man. You don't love anyone, even though I truly did love you once in my life._

_**First time you screamed at me**_

_**I should have made you leave**_

_**I should have known it could be so much better**_

_But in spite of all this, I still believed it worked out for the better. I feel very content with myself now that you're gone. I'm no longer a slave, but a free man. I'm not a lost soul, but a renewed spirit. I don't have to put up with the burden placed once on my shoulders, but relax and enjoy life. I can finally attain __**my**__ dream, Anna. _

_**I hope you're missing me**_

_**I hope I've made you see**_

_**That**__** I'm gone forever**_

_And this is where you stand, Anna. You're the repulsive face behind the mask I've feared for so long. But now you don't look like a threat, but more of a weaker soul. __You just fool everyone you meet with those bold words and beauty. Well congratulations, Anna! Applause! Applause! You're the most lying, evil little bitch in the world._

_**And now it's coming clear**_

_**That I don't need you here**_

_**And in this world around me**_

_**I'm glad you disappeared**_

_And on this bitter note, I take my leave. I wish you well with the rest of your life. I hope the man you're with now sees through your disguise and gives you what you had coming to you. Words can only be used to a certain extent to describe emotion. I wish I could find better words to say __this. But I am better now. I'm going to have a better life than I would with you. Maybe I'll find the person who can give me everything you can'__t. But I know it will never be with you. Now all you can do is sit there with this little piece of paper in your hands..._

_**I feel so much better**_

_**Now that you're gone forever**_

_**I tell myself that I don't miss you at all**_

_**I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now**_

_**That you're gone forever**_

_I bid you farewell now, Anna. All you can do now is regret the bastard you got stuck with, and remorse over the great man you could have had._

_**And now you're gone forever**_

_Because now I'm gone.__ Forever._

_**And now you're gone forever**_

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Please Review._ **  
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